'Tough love' coaching style prompts abuse concerns on Stanford's water polo team

In the satellite of h2o polo, 3 things ringing true: It's exclusive, costly and everyone seems to cognize each other. So, erstwhile Stanford University began investigating its men's h2o polo coach, Brian Flacks, the school's h2o polo assemblage took notice. When Stanford began its 2nd probe into Flacks, the h2o polo assemblage took sides.

The conflict implicit Flacks' coaching benignant centers connected what constitutes "tough love" versus "toxic" behavior. One faction says the conflict is astir what it alleges are Flacks' abuse, retaliation and demands for loyalty. Another faction blames the contention connected parental interference, players' dissatisfaction implicit playing clip and an inability to header with the rigors of collegiate play.

It has raised an age-old question: Do intense, overwhelming tactics marque a squad better, oregon bash they teardrop a squad apart?

"Historically, coaches were precise overmuch much dictatorial: You bash this due to the fact that I told you," said Tim Baghurst, manager of Florida State University's Interdisciplinary Center for Athletic Coaching, which advises coaches connected enactment champion practices. "Now this procreation of athletes bash not needfully respond good to that benignant of instruction. They whitethorn privation to cognize why, they whitethorn privation to person the manager recognize their feelings oregon concern oregon what they're going through."

The Stanford contention surfaced past September erstwhile the assemblage received a ceremonial ailment from 2 parents astir Flacks' coaching style. It caused Stanford to prosecute extracurricular counsel Kate Weaver Patterson to analyse allegations of affectional and verbal maltreatment and pressuring athletes to play contempt superior injuries. She is the aforesaid lawyer who investigated misconduct allegations against Troy Taylor, the school's erstwhile caput shot coach. Taylor was dismissed successful March aft ESPN revealed details of 2 investigations that were prompted by complaints from staffers who said helium bullied and belittled them.

In Flacks' case, Patterson determined determination was "insufficient grounds to find that immoderate athlete's attraction was extracurricular of Stanford athletics and sports medicine procedures" and "no intent by [Flacks] to make an unhealthy environment," according to a Feb. 13 missive to Flacks from then-athletic manager Bernard Muir.

"However, the researcher did find that your strength and thrust tin beryllium reasonably perceived by players arsenic overwhelming," Muir wrote, noting Patterson's recommendations of connection adjustments and monthly mentoring connected managing the pressures of the job.

But successful April, Stanford launched a 2nd probe aft parents and players, including the archetypal complainants, alleged Flacks retaliated against athletes who mightiness person cooperated with the archetypal investigation. The results of the 2nd investigation, which was archetypal reported by the San Francisco Chronicle, person not been released.

ESPN submitted aggregate requests to interrogation Flacks, but a Flacks typical -- unaffiliated with Stanford -- insisted that written questions beryllium submitted successful advance. ESPN declined.

Flacks' attorney, Rebecca Kaufman, characterized the archetypal probe has having "fully exonerated" Flacks and, successful a statement, said that "any allegations of retaliation against players are arsenic preposterous arsenic they are false."

A Stanford University spokesperson said the schoolhouse "expects each of our coaches to enactment diligently to make a civilization of positivity, respecting the wellness and well-being of our student-athletes, and to clasp constructive feedback for improvement."

The assemblage besides noted that Patterson, successful the archetypal investigation, did not find immoderate grounds of an "unhealthy environment."

WHAT MAKES THIS combat truthful antithetic is the precise nationalist and messy conflict that has emerged successful this mostly insular, exclusive sport. Harvard, Princeton and Brown are among the 28 Division I schools offering men's h2o polo. But it's the California schools -- Stanford, UCLA, USC and the University of California-Berkeley -- that thin to pull the apical talent. Of the 13 men's h2o polo Olympians representing the United States astatine the 2024 Paris Games, each but 1 attended a big-four California school.

Players, parents and coaches interact twelvemonth aft twelvemonth astatine tournaments, games and events, with a large extremity of getting players into the Olympics. The reputations of each matter. Word tin get astir fast, with interest that disapproval of coaches tin impact the careers of athletes astatine an elite assemblage with a almighty alumni base.

The fearfulness among players is "not lone volition I not play, but each these alumni volition ruin me," 1 erstwhile elite Stanford h2o polo subordinate told ESPN.

When the combat astatine Stanford spilled into nationalist view, a fewer players discontinue the team. Friendships divided among parents. Lawyers and public-relations professionals were hired.

Multiple players inactive connected the squad -- supporters arsenic good arsenic critics of Flacks -- told ESPN the team, tied for 3rd nationally successful the last 2024 Collegiate Water Polo Association rankings, is successful disarray. The probe and its aftermath created accent with teammates who don't cognize whom to trust. Practices are observed by a schoolhouse official. The players accidental the play is affecting recruiting efforts arsenic connection spreads astir tensions connected the team.

Among recruits' questions: whether Flacks volition inactive beryllium the caput manager adjacent season.

ESPN reached retired to astir 4 twelve radical and spoke with 25 to larn astir the disputes that person torn the squad apart. Most spoke lone connected information of anonymity. Even those agelong removed from the day-to-day activities of the squad said they feared retribution.

"No 1 wants to talk," said different alumnus and erstwhile elite player, describing the assemblage arsenic "paralyzed by fear."

But respective defenders of Flacks called his benignant "intense." In an interrogation with the assemblage pupil newspaper, The Stanford Daily, genitor Danielle Pittman called it "tough love" and compared the manager to erstwhile Alabama caput shot manager Nick Saban. Her son, Riley Pittman, was 1 of 5 players who chose to play their 5th and last twelvemonth nether Flacks successful the 2024 season.

Both parent and lad suggested the complaints boiled down to players' unhappiness implicit playing time.

"Division I sports, particularly astatine this level, is precise difficult. It's precise competitive, and not everybody's going to beryllium happy, and that's unfortunate. But the fortunate happening is that there's this happening called the [transfer] portal," Danielle Pittman said.

Riley, the team's skipper during the 2024 season, credited Flacks with "helping make my crippled much than immoderate manager has ever done. He's taught maine truthful overmuch astir enactment and however to beryllium a amended person, a amended man."

Daniel Mnatsakanian played for Flacks successful precocious schoolhouse and present astatine Stanford. "He is simply a manager who unconditionally cares for his players," Mnatsakanian said. "He is an incredibly hard manager to play for due to the fact that helium demands excellence, and helium demands you to beryllium the best. And I americium eternally grateful for him."

Many who enactment Flacks pointed to the aforesaid "three families" they said are unhappy.

But 7 existent and erstwhile players oregon their families confirmed to ESPN that they raised issues with Stanford astir Flacks' coaching style. They each asked not to beryllium named for fearfulness of retaliation. They described a civilization of isolation and intelligence warfare, wherever players were discouraged to talk with each different oregon their parents astir the authorities of the team.

Players told ESPN that Flacks froze them out, belittled them and called them names specified arsenic "bottom-feeders" and "victims." The San Francisco Chronicle quoted parents making akin remarks.

One subordinate described Flacks' coaching benignant to ESPN arsenic "toxic" and said helium experienced unrelenting accent and antithetic bouts of crying.

"Saying that Flacks is conscionable a tough-love coach, that's implicit bulls---. I've played for tough-love coaches; astir of them are ..." said the player, who has played astatine nationalist and planetary levels of competition. "I'm telling you, it was not pugnacious love. That is conscionable a implicit mischaracterization of his coaching style. Tough emotion does not see intelligence games oregon immoderate benignant similar that. ... [It] doesn't springiness you a escaped walk to mentally [mess] with kids."

The players denied that playing clip factored into the ceremonial ailment with the school.

"The champion mode to picture it is helium runs an authoritarian regime, wherever you cannot talk a connection against him ... oregon other you go singled out," 1 erstwhile subordinate said. "I cognize what's mean and what's not. The mode helium runs the programme is not normal."

Multiple players said they experienced carnal symptoms specified arsenic sleeplessness, anxiousness attacks, vomiting astir signifier times and/or crying that they attributed to stress. They reported they had not experienced immoderate of those carnal symptoms earlier oregon aft playing for Flacks.

The parent of the erstwhile subordinate said she was truthful acrophobic astir her lad that she flew to the assemblage to bash a wellness cheque and marque definite helium would not instrumentality immoderate "rash steps."

"At the time, I didn't cognize whether his acquisition was unique," she said. "I knew that by the extremity of the season, everybody was worn down, each the players were worn down physically, emotionally."

Five of the players accidental they reported their concerns to Patterson, the investigator, who yet determined determination was nary usurpation of Stanford's procedures.

THE ANSWER TO WHAT is effectual coaching is simply a decades-old question, said Dr. Timothy Fong, manager astatine UCLA's Sport Psychiatry Services. He notes that "the powerfulness conflict volition ever beryllium there" betwixt coaches and athletes, but some sides should grant boundaries.

"If it's steadfast disapproval related to your diversion training, show and effort, that is falling successful the enactment again of due coaching strategies," Fong said. "If it's belittling you arsenic a person, not arsenic an athlete, that's different."

A manager crosses the enactment if disapproval ventures into an athlete's immutable traits, specified arsenic gender, contention oregon orientation. It's not arsenic wide chopped erstwhile disapproval is received arsenic an attack.

Fong said carnal symptoms described by the players are "very overmuch reddish flags successful presumption of a squad civilization that's not operating smoothly and successful the champion mode possible" but cautioned that not each specified behaviour signifies vulnerability to abuse.

Fong and Baghurst said players person much options present due to the fact that of the transportation portal but said amended connection betwixt coaches and players is simply a cardinal step.

"Many coaches deficiency grooming connected however to guarantee that a coaching philosophy, a coaching style, is understood and agreed upon by the athletes," Baghurst said. "And if that doesn't happen, past miscommunication tin occur."

It's up to Stanford to determine what benignant of civilization is acceptable oregon not, Fong said.

"Every manager successful assemblage athletics is yet an worker of immoderate assemblage that you enactment with," helium said. "They're bound to the nonrecreational standards of being an worker of the university."

Riley Pittman said helium has "never met a manager who was much wide [than Flacks] astir his expectations and communicates much intelligibly what helium needs and wants from his players."

Multiple players said they learned that the probe was implicit erstwhile Flacks held a little squad gathering successful February to pass them helium was cleared. The players said Flacks did not talk astir a reset oregon connection adjustments to his coaching style. Instead, helium ignored immoderate of them during practice, told immoderate to transportation to different school, oregon said they'd spot reduced playing time. Ultimately, 2 players did discontinue the team, aboriginal saying their departures were not voluntary.

One subordinate who supports Flacks, but who acknowledged an initially antagonistic narration with the coach, described the team's tone arsenic presently "fragile."

The Stanford squad started to fracture publically aft the San Francisco Chronicle archetypal reported the probe against Flacks connected March 31. The nonfiction cited parents who were frustrated with the process and its results. The Orange County Register followed suit. Orange County is known arsenic a h2o polo hotbed.

Four days aft the articles were published, Brian Avery, a Stanford alumnus and influential donor, whose household the Avery Aquatic Center is named after, sent an email successful enactment of Flacks to a Stanford h2o polo alumni group.

"FOR THE FIRST TIME IN THE HISTORY OF OUR WATER POLO FAMILY, paper articles are appearing passim the authorities of CA," Avery wrote.

Because of "the magnitude of improvements to Stanford Water Polo," helium added, "I wrote a $100,000 cheque to Lifetime Cardinal," Stanford's NIL collective.

Within 2 weeks of Avery's email, 14 players and 32 parents co-signed 2 letters successful enactment of Flacks, and The Stanford Daily published a supportive missive to the exertion from a brace of Stanford alumni and Olympians, Ben Hallock and Dylan Woodhead, neither of whom played for Flacks astatine Stanford but trained with him elsewhere. They besides compared Flacks to Nick Saban.

"Elite coaches execute this [level of performance] by ensuring that thing you look successful a crippled is much aggravated than what you brushwood successful practice," the men wrote. "If you can't clasp up successful practice, you can't expect to bash it erstwhile it counts."

Hallock and Woodhead went connected to praise Flacks, writing, "He built up our intelligence toughness."

Follow-up stories appeared successful each 3 newspapers astir the retaliation investigation. The Stanford Daily published different missive to the exertion from Hannah Parrish, a genitor who supports Flacks. She called retired the "three families" arsenic troublemakers.

The fracture deepened implicit the subordinate letter, which was provided to ESPN by a Flacks-hired media representative, David Shane. It stated, "the players who person signed beneath enactment our coaching staff, and denounce immoderate slanderous accusations and defamation against our team, our culture, and our coaching staff."

Multiple players told ESPN they felt pressured by teammates to motion the letter. They said teammates told them coaches knew who signed and who didn't. They besides said teammates hovered implicit chap players during the signing process, which 1 described arsenic vocally coercive and afloat of expletives. Instead of uniting the team, the subordinate said, the missive served arsenic a wedge.

A elder player, CJ Indart, said helium did not witnesser anyone pressuring others to motion the missive and said helium told teammates to motion lone if they wanted to.

"I conscionable wanted to marque definite that we arsenic a squad are connected the aforesaid leafage and I conscionable made definite that everyone was capable to explicit however they felt," said Indart, who signed the missive successful enactment of Flacks.

STANFORD HIRED FLACKS successful 2022 aft longtime caput manager John Vargas retired. Flacks had antecedently spent much than a decennary astatine the elite Los Angeles backstage schoolhouse Harvard Westlake, wherever helium coached the boys' and girls' h2o polo teams and won aggregate titles during his tenure.

Coming consecutive from a precocious schoolhouse squad to a assemblage caput manager relation is not antithetic successful the sport. Nevertheless, immoderate observers of the squad said they were amazed erstwhile Flacks edged retired different candidates with much experience.

Flacks' gramps Craig Barrett, a erstwhile CEO of Intel, has donated implicit $1 cardinal to the university, the Orange County Register reported without specifying a clip framework for the donations. A spokesperson for Stanford says Flacks was hired based connected his merits.

Under Flacks, the squad has 60 wins successful 3 seasons and reached the NCAA semis past year, Stanford's champion showing since reaching the semis successful 2020. The squad won the nationalist title successful 2019.

Among the big-four schools, thing abbreviated of reaching the title lucifer is viewed arsenic a disappointment, players, alumni and parents said. By that measure, Flacks' coaching tactics person yet to output success.

The ongoing play continues to formed a shadiness implicit the team's efforts to absorption connected h2o polo and recapture Stanford's erstwhile glory.

"My biggest wish," Alex Gheorghe, a subordinate who supports the coach, said, "is conscionable to beryllium capable to interest astir h2o polo and being a student."