Ryan Hunter-Reay has 'never smiled as big or felt as much joy' than during Indy 500

This first-person essay is part of a special series leading up to the 109th running of the Indianapolis 500 on May 25 on FOX in which INDYCAR drivers penned letters about what the historic race means to them. Read them all here.

Dear Indy,

Indy is … every emotion. All of them in one place, over many years. Indy becomes a part of who you are, your state of mind. Indy sets the threshold for pain and happiness and everything in between. 

I, and every member of my family, have never smiled as big or felt as much joy as we have within these four corners. We’ve experienced the highest of highs and the lowest of lows, and I wouldn’t give up any bit of it along this journey I am so grateful to have experienced. 

The above is short, sweet and to the point … but another topic that rarely gets discussed is the inner mental battles a driver especially experiences every year at this place. Calculating the closing rate to the wall in a four-wheel slide at 230 mph in traffic, making split-second decisions on whether you keep your foot in it for an attempt at a pass … or play it smart and not risk totaling the car. 

The inner mental conversations and back and forth you have with yourself before qualifying at a downforce level so low you haven’t tried it before, in conditions so sketchy you don’t know if the car will stay under you at 240+ mph, you finally must take a somewhat blind leap of faith on that first lap into the unknown. That’s when you recognize your mental toughness, bravery, or maybe even sheer stupidity.

After years of experiencing this roller-coaster of emotion and recurring test of intestinal fortitude, you accumulate a massive amount of respect for how much this place, this track, this race has laid the bricks in the foundation of who I am and who I’ve become.

- Ryan

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